CricLit – William Shakespeare’s Tremlett

Hamlet

The new Kookaburra ball had somewhat of a contentious design

An extract from Act III, Scene I: exuent King Andyflower and Lord Andystrauss; enter Tremlett…

TREMLETT:
Sydney or not Sydney: that is the question;
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The line and length of outside-off – Steve Finn’s tune,
Or to take arms against a sea of Aussies,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That Ashes heir to, ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;
For in that SCG what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this glory’d tour,
Must give us pause: there’s the respect
That makes calamity of Ponting’s life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the series delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That Punter merits of the unworthy takes,
Down the leg side might his quietus make
With a bare bouncer? How would Aussies bear,
To play and miss under a weary line,
But that the dread of something after caught,
The discontented outback from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is wickets o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great swing and movement
With this regard their batsmen turn awry,
[tweetmeme source=”petehayman” only_single=false]And lose the name of Number 1. Soft you now!
The fair Kookaburra! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be my wickets remember’d.
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